Los Angeles is a boring and ugly city

, and if it hadn't been for friends (both old and new), I would probably never have set foot there. After all, I'm goth - worse even: »one from the old world« (yes, I am quoting) -, and

California-über-alles

is way too hot and dry a place for this most delicate flower of the night to flourish. Plus, there are far too many people roaming the streets.  
 
Really, the only sensible thing to do there is to get drunk...which, shockingly, is exactly what I did (socially, that is), even though I usually

never

drink alcohol. Yes, LA really is

that

boring. You want proof? Well, here it is:

The only other thing to do there (besides becoming an alcoholic) is to take pointless tourist photos. Here is a typical example, taken at the absurdatory (sorry,

observatory

) at sunset.

Isn't it just awful?!

Well, to be honest, this is not

entirely

accurate...because Los Angeles actually does have

one

nice location to offer...and that's the

Hollywood Forever

cemetery:

In fact, I would even go so far as to say that this cemetery (though perhaps slightly on the shabby side) is actually pretty damn fabulous. Why? Well, for starters: they have

peacocks

!

But because this is Hollywood (slash Americaland), there is also an alarming display of what can only be described as

really bad taste

. Exhibit one: a dead Ramone (clearly inspired by Han Solo in carbonite):

As I said, the map they provide (an A4 laser printout) only really serves to roughly point you in the general direction of what you're looking for. At first I thought I was reading it wrong...or that perhaps the heat had finally gotten to me...but when I was approached by some chubby white guy, who asked me, if I knew where to find the grave of Bugsy Siegel (not to be confused with Ralph Siegel), it became clear that I wasn't the only one who had a serious problem with this ridiculous map.

 
* * *

 
Now, to finally get to the point: I only really decided to write this entry,

because today is the deathday of dear Rozz

. Admittedly, when I was taking my stroll across this graveyard, I didn't have the slightest interest in seeing his silly shrine. I just wasn't in the mood at all. But...
 
...when we had almost completed our round and were already close to the entrance again, my driver decided to take a photo of me...which promptly caused some black guard in his little white golf cart to appear out of thin air, to inform us that (and I quote) "

photo-sessions are prohibited!

"

- Umm, OK...for the record: a single snapshot hardly qualifies as a photo-session...and keeping in mind that entire scenes for various movies (horror and otherwise) have been filmed here, I think what he REALLY meant to say was that they charge you for anything that even remotely resembles a professional production. Considering that I wasn't even wearing proper makeup and, on top of that, was coming down with the flu, I decided to

not

give him the finger, and instead took this interruption as a compliment.

At the entrance of this cemetery you can get a map of the place, which has the numbered graves of all the (more or less) famous dead people on it. Unfortunately, this map is

entirely useless

. Seriously. It is completely impossible to find

anything with it. Well, with the possible exception of the above mentioned hideous Ramone statue.

* * *
 

Because tombstones & palmtrees under a bright blue sky are such an unfamiliar and highly confusing sight to the KrautGoth's eye...

...it is therefore strongly advised to retire to the nearest mausoleum every now and then for some cool air and a refreshing cup of tea:

Since this guy was working for the graveyard, my driver inquired, if he (by any chance) knew, where we might find the grave of

Yma Sumac

. But the guard only shook his head and said that he doesn't know that name. (Yup, big surprise there).
 
Then my driver turned to me and said: "

what was the other name you mentioned earlier

?", but I just thought

pfff...yeah, right ... as if this guy has ever heard of Rozz Williams before

. But when I eventually did mumble his name, my jaw almost dropped, as he replied:

"Rozz Williams? Oh, sure, yes. He is over there in the chapel. People go there all the time!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

W H A T  T H E  F * * *  ? ! ?

I was speechless for a moment.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 
Technically, Rozz' shrine is actually not

in

the chapel, but in the columbarium next to it. It's the building with the golden phoenixes on the roof:

However, you cannot just waltz in there, because this is still a private place, where people go to mourn. What you have to do is either ask the lady at the gift/flower shop to call someone to open the doors for you ... or go directly to whoever is sitting at the entrance gate of the cemetery and ask this person for assistence.
 
As I already mentioned, I wasn't really in the mood to see this thing. In fact, I couldn't care

less at the time. But then I thought:

okaaaaay ... since I am already here anyway

... and agreed to pay a visit.
 
A young black guard eventually came to let us in, and as he unlocked the door, he somehow managed to break the key. Perfect! ;)
 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

You enter through a side door and walk along a corridor with pretty stained glass windows ... until to arrive here:

These photos don't really do the place justice, because (even though the guard switched on the lights, and the sunlight was coming in through the windows) it is darker in there than the pictures suggest. There is a little fountain in the centre (you can only see the green bush here in the lower right corner), and even though I was kinda bitchy when I first walked in through the door, I had to admit that this columbarium is actually rather nice.
 

Anyway,

Rozz' shrine is on the upper floor

.
(Don't ask how long it took me to find it.)

Well, that's it. Now go and listen to "Flowers".