Dyeing Easter-eggs

(oder schlicht

"Eierfärben"

, wie der gemeine, deutsche Sittenstrolch sagen würde) is a

completely pointless

and

boring

activity. Especially, if you don't eat them. But maybe even more so, if you actually

do

.
 
 

In any case,

the first thing you need

is:

According to the information on the packaging, there is a method to this madness.

Shopping is never a pleasant experience, so I sent somebody else to go and get them for me. He didn't mind (too much).

Semi-intrigued by all this, I went

online

(dt.:

'auf den Strich gehen'

) to find out where EXACTLY these eggs were coming from. Perhaps even discover a picturesque photo of the "happy" chicken-home.
 
After an extensive 10-second research, I came upon

... where you can enter your egg-code and learn

ALL

about its origin. Hmm ... 'interesting', I thought ... and filled-in the code:

I hit the search-button, and:

NO RESULT

.

Obviously, this is all a load of horse-shit. German supermarkets and discounters probably get their eggs from Poland (where no-one ever controls anything).
 

But enough of that and back to the topic of the hour:

DY(e)ING

...

Apart from eggs, you also need

colour

.
 

There are about a million different brands available, so you may choose whatever suits you best.

However

...

Then...

Now, the following piece of information may be considered a

public service announcement

for our US AMERICAN readers:
 

»

Attention, attention !!!«

Boiling water is HOT !!!

(And so are the eggs swimming in it. Yes, they're hot too.
It's a miracle, I know.)

The rest of the procedure is fairly easy: Just drop your eggs into the colour ... wait half an hour ... drink a cup of tea ... sacrifice a goat ... and ...

Now give them to someone, who clearly doesn't want them.