In Germany, unlike in the United States for example, you do not

actually

buy

a grave.
 

There is no plot of land that is yours forever, where your headstone will mark your final resting place for all eternity (while your formaldehyde-soaked cadaver is busy poisoning the soil).

No, on German cemeteries you merely

rent

a grave.

The lease usually goes for 20-30 years (it depends), which is generally enough for a human body to completely dissolve, and when the times is up, and there are no next of kin to be buried in the same plot, or the leaseholder/successor has no interest in extending the lease, then your headstone gets removed, and the grave will be rented out to the next party.
 
If, for some reason, there are still bones left in that grave (either because you've been a stubborn bitch in life, and death hasn't changed that one bit … or because the ground is particularly

clayey

, so a body might take 40+ years to entirely disappear), your remains will either get

re-buried a bit deeper,

or the next coffin will simply be placed on top of you. After all, no-one will ever notice, anyway.

Once such a lease nears its end, a

dark-green sticker

will be put on your headstone, to inform whoever is responsible now that the "right of use" has expired, and that the cemetery administration must be contacted, because somebody will have to pay for the clearing of the site.

When Alex (label) and myself took a stroll across the Hauptfriedhof in Frankfurt last week, we noticed a, well, slightly more "aggressive" form of communicating that same information. It actually made us laugh, because the "pun" (which is most likely entirely unintentional) is so very

cynical

in tone, it's kind of like a slap in the face.
 
While there is also the initial

dark-green sticker

, it is quickly followed by an additional

neon-orange

one (if the administration has not been contacted in time), and its bold headline sort of translates to "final reminder."
 
In German, however, it

literally

says

"LAST MEMORY"

… which, given the context and setting, is such an unfortunate choice of words, it basically enters

dark comedy

territory. ;)

But, I suppose, that's bureaucracy for you.

(I did read the 40-page

cemetery regulations

for the city of Frankfurt, and it borders on insanity.)

When we were walking across the historic part of the Hauptfriedhof, we noticed that some of the old monuments had additional notifications attached them.

Like this one, for example:

Aside from the

expired-right-of-use

and

final-reminder

stickers, there was also a note to inform you that this monument is considered "too good to be trashed," so, if interested, you can actually

PURCHASE

the posh-looking piece of masonry. (However, if no-one ends up buying it, it WILL get crushed after all.)

When it comes to historic monuments,
there is also the option of

adopting

a grave.

This sponsorship is theoretically for free (you will, however, sign a contract with the historic monuments protection authority), and your task will be to take care of your chosen site and its monument(s), which can range from merely grabbing a brush and scrubbing the stones clean once in a while … to spending several tens of thousands of Euros on maintenance/masonry. It really depends. (As the administration likes to say:

"There is something for everybody."

)
 
The reason for choosing to do such a thing (other than helping to maintain a historic site) is that when you adopt a grave, you are also

granted the right to eventually get buried there!

(Well, in theory.)

And now, to finally get to the point of this blog entry:

One of the old

"SOPOR graves"

is also available for adoption!

;)

This particular site is listed as

,
a "5-digit earth-choice-grave" (sorry, but bureaucratic German terms like "5-stelliges Erdwahlgrab" are just impossible to translate), located at the northern wall of section "G" (see map

).
 

The grave markers were once manufactured by the

company, which is still in business today.
 
Maintenance for this site would consist of two parts: 1) the "grave bed" (as in the landscaping) ... and 2) the stones. Unfortunately, I don't have an exact estimate, because these costs would have to be calculated by a professional graveyard-landscaper, respectively a stone-mason.
 

However, if you engage in a sponsorship of this grave,

you will be allowed to get buried here!

(Albeit only in

cremated

form, because, this being a historically protected site, the stones must not be moved.)

So, would you like to get buried in a "

SOPOR AETERNUS grave

" ?  

;)
(Imagine this question being sung to the melody of

by THE RAMONES.)